The Best of Vonage Visual Voicemail

When moving to Australia one of the best pieces of advice I received was to set up a Vonage account in the US and bring the equipment with me to Melbourne.  I agree with many bloggers out there, it has been a life saver.  A perk is the visual voicemail you receive via email.  A put-a-smile-on-your-face, what-the-h*ll-does-this-mean, do-I-need-to-move-back-home-to-put-my-family-back-together perk.  Below are 2 examples, exactly as they appeared via email.

Example 1:

Date : Jun 06 2011 06:41:41 PM
From : ELITE PET SPA (1973*******)
To : MEGAN (1917*******)

“Austin, I consulted over rated best friend with he just wanted to remind if they need to make an appointment for your dog. So unless it’s done. So if you can because I kissed a girl in the folder on last time and and the family. If you to make a mistake. So please give us a call at 973******* wonderful day. bye bye”

— Brought to you by Vonage —

Did my dog get frisky at the groomer?  Did my groomer get frisky with my family?  I believe my Russian dog groomer hasn’t seen our dog, Napoleon, in a while.  She is following up for an appointment booking… or is she?

Example 2:

Date : Jul 19 2011 08:09:39 PM
From : Cell Phone NJ (1973*******)
To : MEGAN (1917*******)

“Hi Megan, it’s mommy. He has a little after eight here we got hope I was driving home. Thought I’d give you a buzz I don’t know, I’m on my way home. I’ll be home tonight and I guess that’s all quick way to Chicago this evening. So I’m home alone this week. Anyway, talk to you later. I don’t love you. Bye”

— Brought to you by Vonage —

Has my “mommy” disowned me?  What did I do?  I confronted my mom and while I was trying to retell a funny story of miscommunication she became quite defensive and said, “Megan, I really didn’t say that.  I’m sorry, but I really didn’t.”  Not that I thought she would say she didn’t love me, but now that Vonage said that she said that I said that Vonage said that she said that I said… I’m confused at the real possibility of her saying “I don’t love you.”

The bottom of the emails state:

“Vonage would like to know what you think about this Vonage Visual Voicemail message.

Was this transcribed message useful?”



Hmmm, if you want to move to the other side of the world and think about the possibility of your dog groomer finding your family’s information, gaining their trust only to pull them apart, steal their money, kidnap your dog and convince your mother of driving to the midwest and disowning her own children then yes, these transcribed messages were very, very useful.

This entry was posted in American Expat in Australia and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Best of Vonage Visual Voicemail

  1. dsduffy says:

    I get these all the time and crack up! It is just too funny. I often have to listen to the message to figure out what the heck they are referring to, but there are definitely some doozies out there. My recent fave from my mom, when she was going up to the Poconos, was “poker nose” At least we get a laugh!

  2. Gabi Hearn says:

    Well, I still love you but your dog?!!!!!

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